An Intention for 2025: Understanding

No matter what has happened behind me or what I face before me, starting a new year always gives me a little jolt of hope. 

Whether that hope is quiet or loud, hidden or proud, the turning page is an invitation to reflection and an opportunity for intention.  For 2025, I’m embracing the intention of Understanding.  That intention is the inspiration behind the 3-part class that starts Jan 27, Leading with Intention: Communication Strategies for Thriving Teams. 

“Understanding is the essence of love.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

Understanding is a word that may fly under the radar a bit.  It isn’t one of The Eden Alternative Domains of Well-Being.  It doesn’t get the prestige or use of related words like “respect” and “empathy.”  It’s also a complicated word that can bring up an array of emotions for those of us who have experienced the trauma of being systematically and chronically misunderstood.  But, true understanding is one of the most powerful and transformative things we can offer a person (including ourself), and seeking it is one of the hardest but most rewarding things we can do. 

While emphasizing understanding isn’t a new concept in the culture change movement, it can feel pretty revolutionary in a world where power imbalance, dehumanization, judgment, and polarization persist so stubbornly.  Even under the best circumstances, it takes conscious effort to prioritize understanding because it goes against many of our defaults—like the fight/flight instincts that hardwire us to judge first, understand later. 

This is especially challenging when we work within and are impacted by systems that perpetuate misunderstanding by valuing tasks, outcomes, and conformity over relationships, curiosity, and diversity.  An intention to understand invites us to consider a learning-oriented rather than outcome-oriented approach, where instead of asking “what is wrong with…” we ask, “what can I understand about…?”  

“Understanding and connection can transcend conflict.” — Marshall B. Rosenberg

One of the most powerful moments in Eden Associate training is when participants hear the story of a man who finds himself on the subway with a father who is ignoring his disruptive children.  In the story, the narrator observes the children running rampant and becomes increasingly irritated at their unchecked behavior.  Listening along, participants share the narrator’s frustration and empathize when he asks the father why he isn’t doing anything. 

When the father apologizes, explaining that they were coming from the hospital where his wife had just died, the impact on the class is profound.  Instantly, the paradigm shifts from judgment to understanding.  The frustration, irritation, and condemnation that were so palpable in the story and the room transform into compassion, concern, and tenderness.    

What would it be like if we could live that transformation over and over again by creating spaces where understanding, not judgment, is the default?  How would our internal worlds, our relationships, and our communities be changed?  These are the questions we’ll explore in Leading with Intention: Communication Strategies for Thriving Teams.

“The single most powerful and transformative ingredient in dialogue is the intention to understand.”

— Oren Jay Sofer

What does communication have to do with understanding?  Everything. 

Without understanding, we may be speaking and interacting, but we aren’t actually communicating.  That’s why showing up with an intention to understand is a core principle of compassionate or non-violent communication (NVC).  NVC is founded on the idea that beneath all our actions and feelings are universal needs: things like connection, meaning, security, contribution, etc.  

Effective communication depends upon understanding what feelings and needs are behind each other’s actions, goals, and expressions.  Drawing on the wisdom of NVC, the Leading with Intention course will cover three critical components of how to transform our communication and leadership through the lens of understanding:

Part 1 – Starting with Self 

“It’s in understanding yourself deeply that you can lend yourself to another person’s circumstances and another person’s experience.” — Lupita Nyong’o

An intention to understand must start with understanding yourself and your own internal communication.  For those of us who have chosen service-based professions, this may be something we historically put last.  We may even speak to ourselves worse than we’d ever speak to anyone else.  If we are someone who has been misunderstood externally, this internal talk can compound our sense of disconnection and shame.  It also is problematic because, while trite, the old adages about oxygen masks and empty cups are true.  When we learn to cultivate self-compassion by understanding the needs behind our feelings and actions, we not only give ourselves a precious gift, we gain the clarity and internal resources to lead with intention and understand others.   

Part 2: Communicating as a Team

“This intention to understand represents a fundamental, radical shift at the basis of our orientation to a dialogue. It involves weeding from our consciousness any blame, defensiveness, control, or manipulation and instead focusing on creating a quality of connection that is conducive to collaboration.” — Oren Jay Sofer

Before teams can thrive, they have to be collaborative; before teams can be collaborative, members have to experience mutual understanding.  This is a natural extension of the principles of leadership we learn in Eden Associate Training: true leadership is about connection, not control. Whether or not you consider yourself a formal leader, if you offer understanding to your peers, it can change patterns and grow connections, resulting in more understanding for yourself in return. 

It also aligns with the compelling evidence that shows psychological safety to be the number one factor in effective teams.  When team members feel understood instead of judged, they feel safe and brave enough to share their challenges, offer their wisdom, and engage in true collaboration.

Part 3: Building Stronger Communities 

“Dominator culture has tried to keep us all afraid, to make us choose safety instead of risk, sameness instead of diversity. Moving through that fear, finding out what connects us, reveling in our differences; this is the process that brings us closer, that gives us a world of shared values, of meaningful community.” — bell hooks

Transforming communication transforms connection, which in turn transforms culture and communities.  By centering mutual understanding – both in leadership and in life – we create the conditions for people to connect bravely, collaborate respectfully, and live authentically.  From this collective resonance, we can work to ensure our goals and systems align with our shared values and support well-being for all.  Ultimately, an intention to understand is the bridge from what we want for ourselves and our teams to what we want for the world.  

If you are ready to see how understanding can transform your world, set an intention to attend the course: Leading with Intention: Communication Strategies for Thriving Teams –  Jan 27, Feb 3, and Feb 10 from 1:30PM – 3:00PM EST.

Note: if you’ve previously attended the online or in-person Compassionate Communication class, you’ve received much of this content, but we welcome you to return if you want a refresher! 

About Rebecca Hubbard

Rebecca Hubbard is an Eden Educator and faculty member based in Denver, Colorado.

Rebecca Hubbard has been working in Eldercare, behavioral health, and organizational transformation for over 20 years.  After exploring everything from administration to staff development to social work, her passions for well-being and equity ultimately led her to education and The Eden Alternative. She currently writes and teaches courses on communication, trauma-informed care, behavioral health, and leadership for both healthcare and educational organizations.  She also serves on the founding board of an innovative school bringing the principles of inclusion, well-being, and person-directed learning to PK-5 education.

About The Eden Alternative

Our Mission: To improve the well-being of Elders and their care partners by transforming the communities in which they live and work. 

The Eden Alternative offers educational opportunities, consultation, and a proven approach to honoring Elderhood – complete with resources for Elders and care partners to elevate well-being.